Friday, February 26, 2010
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
The Learning Curve
in life people never tell you how hard the trials and tribulations will be.
you have to find out for yourself. by making mistakes, bad choices and from watching people around you do the same. now you wont always learn from others but once you see them banging their head on the same rock being unhappy you will eventually realize that that is not what you want in your life.
life should come with an instruction manual. i firmly believe this. because if you dont have someone to turn to at least to get things off your chest, maybe a little advice...but mainly just for someone to listen - then you will most likely go off your rocker.
when you face unbelievable challenges and people say God only gives you what he knows you can handle... in most cases i believe this... in some cases i would like to walk away and never speak to that person again. i know he means well but sometimes enough is enough and maybe we arent as strong as he thinks we are. i would hate to doubt what he knows but sometimes its just a little too much to bare in life.
life is at most an adventurous learning curve. some mistakes you make will be forgiven, some wont, others you just dont care if they are or not. you are judged (graded) by others. people who know you, people who dont, people who think they do and people who just listen to what others say and form their own opinion from that.
for the most part, i have tried to learn from my own mistakes. i dont brush them off and not remember them... trust me some of them haunt me on a nightly basis - regardless how much you try to brush them off and pick yourself up. i have always believed that if you regret things then you wish your life was different and therefore that would change your whole life. i dont want to change my whole life. the mistakes i have made i have embraced and owned. i have made changes within myself in some instances to help me cope with a situation, others i have just had to walk away and leave a situation alone so as not to drag myself down.
the last year of my life has completely changed me in so many ways. i have lost a lot in the last year... ive lost a few people i was very close to... ive lost what i thought i could never lose.
in those moments when your mind is silent and you go back and you think of the things you have, the way things use to be and how much has changed in such a short time... sometimes you find the darkness you loath and sometimes you will find the brightest place you could ever be.
im not perfect by any means and i would never claim to be but somewhere, somehow in that darkest moment in my life i have found the bright spot. the place where i think is what is suppose to be. the place where my soul will be ok and not be damaged anymore by the things i dont want or need anymore. most of it materialistic things and some such strong emotional things... but somewhere there is the peace my heart & soul will find and no matter where i go from here there will always be those challenges that i dread to face, no matter how weak i think i am, God knows me better and knows that i can handle these things or else he would not place them in my path. some days, he could just not trust me so much as my faith in myself gets a little thin sometimes...
you have to find out for yourself. by making mistakes, bad choices and from watching people around you do the same. now you wont always learn from others but once you see them banging their head on the same rock being unhappy you will eventually realize that that is not what you want in your life.
life should come with an instruction manual. i firmly believe this. because if you dont have someone to turn to at least to get things off your chest, maybe a little advice...but mainly just for someone to listen - then you will most likely go off your rocker.
when you face unbelievable challenges and people say God only gives you what he knows you can handle... in most cases i believe this... in some cases i would like to walk away and never speak to that person again. i know he means well but sometimes enough is enough and maybe we arent as strong as he thinks we are. i would hate to doubt what he knows but sometimes its just a little too much to bare in life.
life is at most an adventurous learning curve. some mistakes you make will be forgiven, some wont, others you just dont care if they are or not. you are judged (graded) by others. people who know you, people who dont, people who think they do and people who just listen to what others say and form their own opinion from that.
for the most part, i have tried to learn from my own mistakes. i dont brush them off and not remember them... trust me some of them haunt me on a nightly basis - regardless how much you try to brush them off and pick yourself up. i have always believed that if you regret things then you wish your life was different and therefore that would change your whole life. i dont want to change my whole life. the mistakes i have made i have embraced and owned. i have made changes within myself in some instances to help me cope with a situation, others i have just had to walk away and leave a situation alone so as not to drag myself down.
the last year of my life has completely changed me in so many ways. i have lost a lot in the last year... ive lost a few people i was very close to... ive lost what i thought i could never lose.
in those moments when your mind is silent and you go back and you think of the things you have, the way things use to be and how much has changed in such a short time... sometimes you find the darkness you loath and sometimes you will find the brightest place you could ever be.
im not perfect by any means and i would never claim to be but somewhere, somehow in that darkest moment in my life i have found the bright spot. the place where i think is what is suppose to be. the place where my soul will be ok and not be damaged anymore by the things i dont want or need anymore. most of it materialistic things and some such strong emotional things... but somewhere there is the peace my heart & soul will find and no matter where i go from here there will always be those challenges that i dread to face, no matter how weak i think i am, God knows me better and knows that i can handle these things or else he would not place them in my path. some days, he could just not trust me so much as my faith in myself gets a little thin sometimes...
Friday, February 12, 2010
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