I dont know why. I think it is sexy. Its not that I think smoking is sexy. The picture to me is just sexy. I was a smoker for many years... I cannot even tell you how many years. I have quits smoking. I quit when we moved into our new house. My boys have been begging me for years. I dont smoke around them and never made excuses for my smoking. However, when we moved, I just got sick of smoking (as if moving wasnt enough stress for me!!!).
Before deciding to quit, I cut down quite a bit. I would smoke in the morning on the way to work, on the way home, usually after dinner and one before bed. I was not a pack a day or a two pack a day smoker... but that 4 was enough to still cost me money!
Upon quitting, I alerted no one. I did not want to have to answer if I failed. After all I was doing this for me, not anyone else. I quit on Sept 5th, 2010. This has been the longest process of anything! The first week was by far the easiest time... after that it was a pain in the ass! I hated everyone! I wanted to ram my truck into every idiot Ohio driver I passed! After a bit I went to my dr and told her she was going to have to put me on some kind of meds... not only for the smoking but for my ADD. My son alerted me one fine Sat afternoon that I had 4 projects going... as I was starting another!!!
She started me on prozac... yes I know, that is the oldest med in the world lol. I took that for several months... until one day I realized how drowsy it made me. Everyday I was so tired when I was at work, tired when I got home and would often take a nap after work! I am not a napper by any means! So I had her put me on something else. She decided welbutrin would be best for the ADD symptoms. And it is. I love it. It has cleared my mind and my sleepy head symptoms.
I am not a pill person. I can take a vicodin on Monday and be good til Thurs or Fri but it does knock me out lol. Having to take a med every day is the most tedious thing! I do not know how our patients take all the meds they have! I have issues just taking the one little pill I have.
So back to the smoking. I have quit. I have cheated. The first time being Dec 28th. My sis in law gave me a bottle of wine after I dropped my nephew off. It was delish! And Im not a wine drinking kind of girl... and I know when I drink wine I have to smoke. So I stopped and got a pack... and I smoked 2 and finished the wine lol. The second time being Jan 1st. My x bf texted me, it was his bday, and he wanted me to come have a few beers with him. I had avoided drinking any beer due to the fact that I had known I would smoke... and especially at a bar where they allow smoking!! I finished the pack with the help of some seats near me. Now I have not cheated until then until the last week.
I am under so much stress... it is killing me. I catch myself taking it out on my boys and that is not fair. So after I send them off to bed, I sneak one. Not every night but maybe 2-3 times in the last week. I have a stash left over from a few weekends ago so why not use them up!? I have missed smoking so immensely that I dream about it! It is making me want to be an alcoholic just so I can smoke!
After I quit in Sept, I started having the oddest cravings for guacamole and pepsi!!! To the point that I will get up and go to the store no matter what I am doing. I have pretty much gotten the guacamole craving under control but not the pepsi... it is going to kill me! I am pretty sure just like McDonalds, they have been putting crack in my pepsi! My fav pop is diet dr pepper, I do love me some pepsi but it is not anything near my love for ddp.
So how do I nip this in the bud, get myself off the pop fix and get myself leveled off! I just cannot quit cold turkey like I did with the smokes. I get these ravishing headaches that send me into the worst mood! It makes me almost feel like I did once when they put me on steroids to get rid of the poison ivy infesting my blood stream. I had to take my kids over to my moms because I got so angry. And on the way there I just kept getting the urge to punch my windshield. This is serious stuff! How do the body builders keep from strangling someone when they are doing steroids? I just do not get it. I cannot trade in one addiction for another... unless it is trading it in for getting the stuff done in my house that needs done!
So I thank the no smoking gods for allowing me the ability to stop (for the most part) and do not thank the pepsi gods for making me want pepsi... I must go now, Im at work... and apparently this headache will not go away until I go get a flipping pepsi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i quit smoking 2 years ago. look at how cool we are now with the non-smoking lives! i still cheat every once in a blue moon if i'm around a smoking friend, but that add up to like 5 smokes a year. i used to do that every day, so i feel like i'm safe.
ReplyDeletewhen i quit soda, i found that i needed the caf fix, so i'd take one of those caf pills like nodoz or something & keep some other drink handy all the time. so i had my artificial energy in my blood & my drink in my hand & eventually i was able to ease off it like that. good luck!